Tough Decisions

One thing about being a working mom is that there are days when Carley isn't feeling well, and she wants me to stay home with her. I wish I had the ability to just say "okay, I'm staying home." Today was one of those days.

Carley seemed fine and happy when I told her that Grammy was coming over to visit, and she was sitting on the couch, drinking her milk and smiling, until I announced that I was going to work. She climbed down, stuck out her top lip (which makes me laugh, because my brother and my best friend said I did the same thing every time I cried as a kid), and cried. She did not want me to leave today. She gave me a huge hug, and wouldn't let go of me.

Carley has never been the kind of baby to cry for no reason, well, no GOOD reason. If she was crying, it was for wanting something - food, sleep, to feel better, etc. So I knew she didn't feel well. But it absolutely breaks my heart to leave her when she's crying out "mamma! mamma!" She seemed to recover well, but ugh, it kills me.

Better?

Well, today (so far) has been better than yesterday. I went to the doctor to deal with my migraine and my temporary confusion that I experienced yesterday. I am convinced that it has to do with my insulin-resistance (pre-diabetes) and a combination of lack of sleep, lack of water and proper nutrition. Oh, and I had a cold on top of all of that.

The doctor, however, wants to rule out any neurological conditions (stroke? tumors? epilepsy?) so I go in for an MRI next week. I'm not overly thrilled about that because I'm like Chicken Little - the sky is falling! Of course I've convinced myself of the worst and having a daughter makes it that much harder for me because I need to be around for her.

It's all good. I'm sure it'll come back as nothing more than an intense migraine brought on by the amazing chocolate cake I had yesterday. It's back to the gym and healthy eating for me.

And on a side note...my husband is the most wonderful person ever. It's so easy to get stuck in ruts of bills, and life, and we sometimes get on each others nerves, but when I was having my issues yesterday I was texting Chris because I was really scared. I ended up leaving, and Chris came in to see me. At the time, and up until 8:00 this morning, I thought they came to visit because they were in town. The girls at work told me he told them that he came to visit because I wasn't feeling well - that he wanted to check on me.

He is so sweet and he's never tell me that. I'm so lucky to have him and he's going to be there with me next week when I have my MRI. Which I know will come out as nothing more than migraines. And no more cake. Dammit!

Scary moments

Well, today hasn't been the best of days for me. I had some scary moments at work. I was talking to someone in my office who talked about a girl in my office named Shannon. When she said that name I thought to myself "is that her name?" I actually had to go back to my desk and see who Shannon was. Now, my office is large (over 50 employees), but I know Shannon. I used to ask her quit a bit to hang out with me. Not long after that, I forgot the name of the medication that I take every single day.

I started to freak out. I didn't know if I was having diabetic issues, Alzheimer's issues or what. Not long after that I started to lose my vision due to an ocular migraine.

Needless to say I left work. I still don't know what caused my temporary memory loss, but it's probably a combination of hormones, migraines, lack of sleep and too much sugar. Regardless, I'm headed to the doctor soon and hopefully they'll tell me it's nothing to worry about.

If God intended for spiders to live, he wouldn't let them come into my house

It's no secret I'm terrified of spiders. No, not all. I mean, itty bitty spiders don't bother me and neither does the Itsy Bitsy spider. But mammoth spiders that obviously have been in a dark corner growing HUGE over the summer do bother me.

I woke up this morning and walked out into my living room and saw a huge spider on the wall. Not only was it huge, but it was a huge as a tarantula! And what was worse, was that it was on the wall, high above the stairs. And there was no way I was going to let that thing crawl around. I was going to have to find a way to kill it. Or call 911.

Chris, who is about 6'6" was already gone for work. And even he wouldn't have been able to get it from the stairs. So, I knew I'd have to have a very long something and I might be able to stand on the couch and lean over the balcony to reach it. So I grabbed the mop and I leaned over the couch. Both hands on the handle and I was just waiting for it to grab the mop and say "No you don't!"

I squished the thing and of course, it fell down the side of the wall, on to the floor below - STILL MOVING! I ran downstairs and placed the mop on top of what I really hope is a dead carcass. And I left it there.

That mop will stay there until the carcass disintegrates. I know there are people who "capture and release" spiders because they "do so much good" for nature. B.S. If God intended for spiders to live, he wouldn't have 1) made them so HUGE! and 2) let them come into my house.

I won't even talk about the spider in Africa that is so large they call it a dinner-plate spider (oh, and it eats BIRDS!).

The weekend

The weekend is here and Carley and I have a fun weekend planned together. Swim lessons (or as I like to call it "let's play catch pink eye!"), playing, watching Elmo for the 400th time and just having fun mommy and me time.

The weather isn't supposed to be that great, so this will be a true test for finding stuff to do with a toddler that ISN'T outside. Normally we spend a few hours at a park playing on the equipment, or, during summer on cold days, we went to the mall. But with the Guide being worked on, 4000 WWU students returning to school and all public schools back in session, I think our best bet is to stay home.

Due to our desire to keep our daughter out of day care, Chris will be working this weekend. Except on Sunday, when he and his brother go to a home Seahawks game. Carley and I will be rooting from home!

Hello, my name is Jennifer Bonstein

And that's what someone is going to be saying if my license ends up in the wrong hands. I've lost my driver's license.

On my lunch hour yesterday I decided to go to Barnes and Noble and do a little Christmas shopping. As I reached into my wallet to pull out my debit card to pay, I noticed my debit card wasn't there. Okay, okay, no need to freak out. I probably bought something and put it back in hastily. So I get out my checkbook and write a check for the amount - after asking if they even take checks. On a side note, it won't be long before checks are obsolete and no one takes them anymore. The fact that I had to even ask if they take checks is a perfect example why.

Anyway...I hand over my check and the clerk asks for my identification. Um, so where's my license? Is freaking out allowed now? Yup. And I did. I never take my license out of my wallet, but I thought maybe Carley was playing with it and took it out so I dug out every card I had in every pocket in my wallet. Nothing.

There's a line of people behind me, the clerk is staring at me and I'm freaking out - yet, I still need to pay for my books and show some sort of identification. So, I pull out my Costco card (not good enough), I flashed my I.D. badge from work (still no good, and I think the clerk was starting to think I was a little insane) and finally I pull out my Sudden Valley member card (still no good).

I was finally able to provide my license number and leave the store, but where is my license you ask? I. DON'T. KNOW!

The only thing I can think of is that it fell out of my wallet when I was paying for either lunch or clothes in Seattle last week. That's the last time I had it. So, if it fell out and some unscrupulous person picks it up, soon there will be 2 Jennifer Bonsteins and one of them is probably going to start getting credit cards and opening checking accounts with no money (can you tell I deal with a lot of identity theft at work?)

I now have the task of obtaining a new license, which really isn't as easy as one might think. You have to provide strange things in order to get a new license and report yours as stolen. To prove your identity, believe it or not, a Passport does NOT qualify as one of the items they want to see. I have to show them a utility bill, or a mortgage statement or a medical insurance payment. And the hardest part? I have to try to have a good hair day today. So you know that means it'll look like crap.

Well, off to the DMV I go...

Hello?

Well, due to the kind of work I do, there's not much I can tell you about my job and what goes on. I work in the Prosecuting Attorney's office with adult felony crimes, which is why most everything I do is confidential. But today, I can tell you that I am on the front desk answering the phones.

When I was hired, I was hired as the receptionist. This was waaaayyy back before we had PC's and email. It seems like email has been around forever, but not in government work. We had what were called "dummy terminals" and it was just our database and a very archaic word processing system. It wasn't user friendly at all. But because we didn't have email, everyone called. We used to receive in excess of 600 calls per day. It was very stressful because you were also required to keep up with your extra duties while all 6 lines were ringing, you were helping those in the lobby and unlocking the front door. I was the receptionist for a year and it was miserable.

Nowadays, the receptionist has it easy. For one, the pay scaled has jumped 2 ranges and with the addition of email, you can go an hour without a single phone call. The work load has also decreased. No, I'm not bitter. I just sound like it.

Today, I'm answering phones again, but these days I don't mind. It's a nice little break and it's nice to see what's going on in the office. When you're up front you are the information master - you see all the reports and hear everything with everyone. I just hope no one yells at me (and if you can go an entire day without someone from the public yelling at you, you can call it a good day).