(titled edited because I'm hot-headed)

(Ding!) Customer Assistance in the “Family Is Important” department, please.

What’s on my list today? I won’t find it at one particular department store. That’s for sure.

I’m so frustrated with a the management at this store. I know they just fired an employee for mistakenly giving a customer back his check, The employee got no warning and no consideration as to their track record or length of service. Even if the check is for $5. This does NOT happen if a till is short $5 cash.

But my reason for writing is more personal because my family has been connected to this company for years. The store doesn't give full time hours to union employees, instead making Management (salaried) work all the extra hours they need. And not just 1 or 2 hours here and there. They are paid for 8 hours a day, scheduled for 10 hours, but expected to work 11 or 12. EVERY. DAY.

3. The store doesn't care if employees have families. You are expected to drop everything to accommodate their needs with as little as 10 hours notice. On vacation? Too bad, come back early. Got a kid? Don't give a shit, figure it out. Never see your wife? Get a divorce.

4. The store happily gives uninterrupted vacations to the Grocery Managers, Deli Managers, Baker Managers, Meat managers - all at the same time, but don't extend that consideration for Assistant Managers.

Here's the deal...my husband works for this company as a manager. Not the top either. While on a pre-approved scheduled vacation, he was called and told that he had to cut his vacation short because the Grocery Manager needed a day off. Keep in mind, the Grocery Manager took a sweet two-week, uninterrupted vacation in September. He was never called back early and, in fact, was never called with a single thing regarding work. Where as my husband, after working 12 hour days, spent the remainder of the night on the phone with work.

We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, and he is her only child care for those days on his vacation. With 3 days notice, they expect him to drop everything and find a babysitter. Because the managers don’t care. It's as plain and simple as that.

The real icing in the cake? After being called back from vacation early, requiring husband to ditch daughter, he is being required to work graveyard shifts for 9 straight nights.

I know what you're thinking - that's not bad. No, no, no. This is 9 straight graveyard shifts in Ballard, WA - 85 miles from our home.

Oh, come on, Jen, that's not so bad. He'll have a hotel and with email and text and webcams you can keep in touch. Right?

Wrong.

He has been told that the company will NOT pay for him to stay in a hotel. They are requiring him to drive to and from Ballard for 9 straight graveyard shifts. For 9 straight days and nights, he will do nothing but work. He will not see me. He will not see his daughter. He will be required to drive 2 hours each way in order to work a schedule 10 hour shift, that will likely turn into an 11 or 12 hour shift.

Oh, but when he gets back, he'll get some time off and everything will be back to normal, right?

Wrong. Again.

His first presumed day off (we don't know since they haven't told him) is going to be on a Thursday - but technically he'll get off work that morning at 8AM, then drive 2 hours to get home in order to sleep probably all day and night (and won't get to see his wife or daughter for the 10th straight day) in order to then go to work on Friday at 2PM to work until midnight. (If you're keeping score, that will be the 11th day without seeing his wife and daughter, even though we're all in the same house).

Oh, but the end is in sight, right? Because Saturday he'll get the day off, I have the day off, we'll have a family day, right? Nope. He'll get 1 day off that week (Thursday), which technically isn't a day off because he's working til 8AM that morning. Saturday is another 2PM to midnight shift. Another day without seeing him (check your score cards - that's 12 days now).

Maybe you're thinking that I'm just whining and that I should just be THANKFUL that he even has a job, but what good is a job when all I get of my husband is a paycheck? That is all he's good for. We don't get to see each other, we don't get to spend time together and the worst part is, he doesn't get to see his daughter. She's at an age where every day she's doing something new and different. She's learning and changing and he's missing out on that. So ask yourself this question...do you work in a job that you'd prefer over your own child? Would you give up time with your child to work long hours that you aren't paid for? What price would you put on giving up years with your child and spouse?

And the sad thing is, we'd also like to expand our family. But in our case, it requires doctors and medicine and timing and because of what the company is doing, we can't do that. My husband won't be around when the doctor's need him. He won't be around when I need him. And most importantly he won't be around when our daughter needs him either.

This company doesn't treat their employees well. Keep that in mind the next time you shop. When you see them running ragged, trying to stock the shelves, remember that person has a wife and a child that they no longer see, all for the sake of the company.

Never confuse having a career with having a life.

Note: this was edited from my original version because my friend Eric is a smart guy and I'd be stupid NOT to listen to him.

First Day of "school"

Well, the day has come. Today is Carley's first day of "school". I say "school" but it's really day care. If we call it school, Carley gets excited - in theory.

I've prepared her as much as I can. I had hoped she'd get a good night's sleep so she'd be in a good mood, but of course, she didn't get to sleep until 11:15 or 11:30 (I don't know when because by then I was already asleep), then at 2AM she climbed into bed with me. I'm about to wake her up to start this new part of our day. I can only hope that her lack of sleep doesn't result in a meltdown, but if I know my kid, it will.

I've become quite emotional about her starting day care. I can't explain it, and unfortunately I can't control it. I wished to hell I could because people are starting to make fun of me, which has really been hurtful.

I hope she lasts all day long, but if not we'll try again on Friday.

Pacifier Detoxification

Pacifier Detoxification began yesterday. I just went for it and cut the tips on all the pacifiers (I already took most of them and hid them so we only have 4 left). At nap time, she told me they were broken and to throw them away. I thought it was going to be great.

At bedtime, it absolutely broke my heart. I don't think anyone can understand how it made it feel. I already know it has to be done. I already know it will pass. But when she started sucking on it and said it was broken, she told me to get a new one. But then she found a way to plug the hole so she could suck. The tone of her voice had so much sadness in it, it broke my heart. To take something away that has offered so much security for her really hurt ME.

I already know what everyone thinks, and that's fine, but I'm a sensitive person and it's my right to be sad for what I've done. I now need to think of another way to get rid of them. Maybe Chris needs to take charge, I don't know, but for now, it kills me that I did this.

And the worst part was? I had the most horrible dream ever in my entire life about Carley and what I did to her. Metaphor? Probably. The dream, without specifics, was that I killed her. This parenting thing is hard business.

Office Rant

This rant applies to any office of any size. I am speaking for the people......Please do not bring your breakfast, snacks and lunches for the entire week and store them in the office fridge. You don't need to bring a carton of soy milk for the one bowl of cereal you have in the morning. You don't need to have "options" when it comes to your morning yogurt. You don't need to bring 4 bags of different kinds of lettuce so that you can have the "big salad" at lunch. And if you are indecisive about which type of dressing to use? Bring small samples of all of them instead of littering the fridge door with your jars and jars and jars of dressing. The last time I checked, there was only 1 person who rode a bike to work, therefore only HE should be bringing a week's worth of food to keep in the fridge. You? You're driving your ass to work every day, so get up a little earlier and pack a lunch. Can't decide if you want banana or vanilla yogurt? Decide when you wake up.

I shouldn't have to move your milk, your yogurt, your apple, your butter, your dressing spray, your croutons just to be able to place a single can of pop in the fridge. I shouldn't have to move your moldy whatever-the-hell-that-is to put my lunch in the fridge.

Considering all the food I'm finding in the fridge I'm beginning to wonder if any part of your day is spent working, or if you are attempting to become the next Food Network Star. Either way....the fridge is not your personal storage container. You need to share it with 50 other people, so get up early, make your lunch before leaving your house and for God's sake....make a freaking dressing decision!!!

Decisions

If you think the decision to have a baby is hard, I think the decision to NOT have one is even harder. That's a decision we're wrestling with right now.

There are pros and cons to both, but the big con is...how do we pay for it? The thing that stumps me is, I've asked around and no one seems to be able to tell me what they do to afford 2 kids. I've asked working moms, I've asked stay-at-home moms and I have yet to get a single straight answer. Do families use credit cards? Do they cut out everything in their life? I don't know and I can't quite figure it out.

With one income we'd have to figure out how to pay just for the basics of survival...the mortgage. Food. Diapers. Cars and the insurance for them. Clothing. Of course, all the utilities that go with running a house (power, gas, water, association dues) And we aren't poor, but we don't use credit cards. We'd have to cut out pretty much everything...TV, internet, cell phones, all extra spending as well as cutting our grocery bill down to next to nothing and I just don't know how we'd do that?

Assuming I could work, I'd then have to put 2 kids in day care. 1 kid for 5 full days a week is around $600/month minimum. 2 kids? That's my entire paycheck so then we're right back where we've started.

That's the biggest problem. And it's a terrible problem to have, because I don't want Carley to be an only child, I think she'd love a sibling. But the cost for us to even get pregnant is pretty high, and I've been told that the meds for it have recently doubled.

So what do we do? I wish nature would make the choice for us, and maybe it will, but it's a decision that has been heartbreaking to think about.

If we didn't have any more kids, we know we could give Carley a good quality life. And that makes me happy. It's wrapping my head (and heart) around that decision.

Parenting

No one ever tells you how to be a parent, because it's different for every person, with every child. I know I'm criticized for how I approach parenting, but I'll tell you, I think I'm a damn good mother.

I don't win every battle, but I do win the important ones. I am strict when I need to be, I am softie when I want to be. I have made decisions for my daughter that are different than those around me, and maybe even "controversial", but in the end it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

At the end of the day, I know I'm a good mom. And how do I know this? When I walk in the room after not seeing my daughter for the day, she comes out running, screaming "mom!" and gives me a huge hug, as if I've been gone for days.

There is no better reward, no better validation than that.

Harry Potter

Harry Potter. I don't know when I became a fan. I don't know when I started reading the books, but I do remember who turned me on to them. A woman I work with, Terri, was raving about them. She carried it with her around work and I had heard a few things so I decided to pick them up and try it. Little did I know I would fall in love with the books and read the entire series at least 10 times (no joke).

The movies, I love too, and part of my love stemmed from finding something my niece, Lena, and I could share together. We have seen the last 2 Harry Potter movies together and tomorrow we'll see the Half-Blood Prince.

I love the Harry Potter world and I love that it's something Lena and I get to share. Tomorrow we shall don our Gryffindor scarfs my mom knitted for us and head to the theater. Will I look like a dork? Yup. Do I care? Nope. I have something that is just between Lena and I and that is what I love most about Harry Potter.

I'm famous!

Part of what I do at work is to process fugitives - people who have warrants out for their arrest from a State other than Washington. Most of the time, they are boring, but on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 we got a very public fugitive - Ryan Leaf.

He's an ex-NFL football player, generally regarded as one of the top 3 busts of the NFL. After being drafted number 2, his career went nowhere and he lost it, mentally.

In 2008, according to general google searches for Ryan Leaf, he broke into the house of a player and stole drugs. A warrant was issued for his arrest and he fled into Canada.

Whatcom County, being a border county on I-5 gets hundreds of fugitives a year. It's part of where we're at. When Ryan Leaf attempted to come back to the U.S. he was arrested at the border on his outstanding warrant.

Note...if you ever have a warrant issued for your arrest - don't try to cross an international border. I know Canada doesn't always feel like another country, but it is. And they'll get you.

Since Mr. Leaf was a guest in our fine detention facility, I had to process him. He happened to get arrested at a time when all of our Prosecutor's were at a conference so I was the one fielding the press phone calls. One report was an AP reporter and as it turns out, AP news is worldwide.

So my name, and my quotes which were business related, has ended up all over the world. I've been in papers such as the USA Today, ESPN, CNN, MSNBC, NBC Sports, Fox Sports, The NY Daily News and many, many, many more.

A google search of my name results in just under 6,000 hits. 3270 hits relating to Ryan Leaf and my quote.

I know it's not a big deal and I'm nothing in this story but in my world, it's so exciting. I love to be able to google my name and find that people all over the world have read my name. It's just...exciting (for me and Chris and Carley).

The article is the same all over and here it is from the June 17, 2009 USA Today:



Leaf posts bond after arrest at U.S.-Canada border

CANYON, Texas (AP) — Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf posted a $45,000 bond Wednesday in Washington for drug and burglary charges out of Texas after being arrested by customs agents as he returned to the United States from Canada.

James Farren, the district attorney in Randall County in West Texas, said Leaf was arrested Wednesday by federal customs agents. Legal assistant Jennifer Bonstein said Leaf declined to waive extradition during a hearing Wednesday afternoon in Bellingham, Wash., about 90 miles north of Seattle.

Wendy Jones, chief corrections deputy for the Whatcom County Jail, confirmed that Leaf posted bond Wednesday evening.

Leaf's attorney in Washington told the court Leaf would post the bond and return to Texas by himself. Leaf also was to come back to court in Whatcom County on July 16, Bonstein said.

Bill Kelly, Leaf's attorney in Texas, said his client was returning to Texas to turn himself in by a Thursday deadline.

Disappointment

Well, the sort of secret is that Chris and I have been trying to have another baby. I think everyone suspects that we have been trying, but we haven't told anyone. We've been trying for over a year without success.

Unfortunately, this month, I let myself believe that I was pregnant. Everything was looking good, even the doctor said so, but I was wrong.

We aren't sure what we are going to do now. My condition alone made it hard for us to have Carley, but since her, I've turned 35 (and 36) and 35 really is that magical number. I wish I hadn't allowed myself to be hopeful this time.

I don't want to talk about it, because it makes me sad to see others get pregnant so easliy and even see others who aren't as happy to be pregnant as I would be. I'll keep hoping, but the reality is, Carley may be an only child.

Proud Aunt

My niece, Lena, had her annual dance recital this weekend and aside from locking my keys in the car - in Nooksack - it was a great night. She was so grown up and looked great and she was by far the best dancer on the stage.

Watch out, American Idol!

Here comes the next American Idol - in 2024:

7 years of wedded bliss

On February 2, 2002 (2/2/02) Chris and I were married. It was one of the best days of my life. I didn't like the ceremony part, the expression of our love and commitment to each other is a personal thing and I would have preferred to kept it between us and the required witnesses, but I got through the ceremony and we had a ton of fun at the reception. I can remember the day like it was yesterday.

Since then, we bought a house (in October 2003) and had a baby (February 2, 2007) and I can honestly say in the nearly 9 years we've been together, we've had maybe 2 fights. Yes, we've had disagreements, but we don't fight.

Chris is simply the best person I know. He is kind, and loving and he makes me a better person and that's why after 7 years of marriage, we had as much fun on this anniversary dinner date as we did on our first date.

This is us on our first anniversary, when we lived on Pacific Street.

This is us now.

I hope everyone is as lucky as I am to find a partner, a friend and soul mate who makes you laugh, and who loves you through the good and the bad.

Happy Anniversary, Chris, he is my heart and soul.

Carley's 2nd Birthday

I was creative this year in making her invitation. Here are the pictures as I went along, as well as the final result.

The downside? The theme was based around her love of Finding Nemo. Since we've been sick, she hasn't wanted anything to do with Nemo. Oops.

The only thing I provided in making these cards, is the idea.

I started out by asking a friend from work for some bags she used to put earrings in that she sold. I then put sand, and shells I got from my sister-in-law, Renae and blue food-colored water in the bags. I laid them out on this paper towel to see if the would leak.

I stamped a fish (stamp set courtesy of my mom) on the cover of the card and put rhinestones as bubbles (also courtesy of my mom). I colored the fish with chalk (again...my mom's).


On the inside, I stamped an octopus, and I wanted a phrase that related the theme, so we went with the hokey "It's o-fish-al" ('official').

The inside left of the card was left blank and just looked like it was missing something, so I added a cute crab for no other reason than to take up the empty space. Maybe this can represent Carley after the presents have been opened and she crashes from her cake high.

This is the "invitation" part of the card.

I cut a hole out of the cover of the card so the fish can peek through and when I attach this to the front, the bag with water/sand/shells will be between the hole and the fish, so it appears the fish is in water. The front says "Under the sea, under the sea..." and "...come celebrate my birthday with me."

Once put together it looked like this:

I attached the card together with brads (supplied by my mom) and this is the finished product. Voila!

Memories

I had fun on Facebook last night, posting old class pictures. Even more fun is that so many of the people in these pictures are my friends on facebook. Bellingham is a small town, which I love, and I love that we are all still in touch in 2009, 30 years after this first picture was taken. Enjoy:

1st Grade, Sunnyland Elementary (1979-1980). I am the one in the front/standing row, far right holding a book.

2nd grade, Sunnyland Elementary (1980-1981). I'm the one on the left side, holding the sign in the sweet velour top.

3rd grade, Sunnyland Elementary (1981-1982). That's me in the front row, rainbow shirt.

4th grade, Sunnyland Elementary School (1982-1983). I'm in the front row, 4th from the left in the god-awful jeans and bowling t-shirt. I'm sure my mom was thrilled that I wore this for picture day.

5th grade, Sunnyland Elementary School (1983-1984). I'm in the front standing row, 2nd from the left.

Seriously, my hair in all these pictures, with the exception of 1st grade is terrible! No style at all.

Welcome 2009

Well, 2008 had to give me the finger as it was leaving...by snowing yet again. I really thought we might be starting to get rid of what we have, but no. It had to snow. I, for one, am not sorry to see 2008 in the rear-view mirror.

We welcomed in 2009 with a quiet family night at home, just how I like to bring in the new year, with the people I love most.

2009 will see my 7th wedding anniversary (I can't BELIEVE it's been that long already), Carley's 2nd birthday and hopefully by the end of the year we'll have another baby on the way.

I don't make resolutions, but I do hope 2009 will be filled with laughter, love and many happy memories.

I wish everyone a happy, healthy 2009.