I haven't posted in awhile, but I don't have a good excuse (except that I work full-time, raise a child and maintain a household).
When Carley had her 3 year checkup, they gave us a pamphlet telling us about age 3 and what to expect. One small line, not bolded, not italicized, stuck out at me. "Mom is really special right now"
I have to say I don't think special is the right word. I can't go more than 2 feet before Carley freaks out. I haven't been to the bathroom alone in...well, for as long as I can remember. If I take a shower, she comes with me. If I use the toilet, she comes too. If I make dinner, she needs to help. Even sleeping, lately. She insists that she has to be sleeping right next to me at all times. When I wake up to get ready for work, she wakes up as soon as she realizes I'm not there and gets really upset.
To say that this is a trying time for me is an understatement. I love my daughter more than anything, I really do, but even I need my space occassionally. My fuse has been short because I don't get the freedom to do anything. Not just some time for me, but even time to take a shower uninterrupted.
It's also a "no" phase. Sample conversation:
Me: "Let's go"
Carley: "No!"
Me: "Fine, let's stay."
Carley: "No!"
Somedays are just harder than others and today is one of those days so I told Carley I quit. I quit being mom. And her reaction was surprising....she cried. A lot! She told her dad that I was quitting and she was honestly upset about it.
I apologized and I am trying to be more patient with her and try to understand what she's feeling and why she needs to be with me all the time. Is she scared? Is she unsure of herself and her surroundings? I guess it's time for a bit of research.
In the meantime, I have revoked my resignation notice.
