I have recently recieved a two very nice compliments from friends and in receiving these compliments I have come to realize that I don't think very much of myself. I wish I knew why that was.
I have a belief that I am forgetful, almost like I"m invisible. I am there, but once I'm gone, so are all traces of me. I identify myself by full name (or title) when calling collegues and even when I call family members, who aren't my parents or sibling, I identify myself not only by my full name, but my full maiden name.
I don't know when it started, but I wish I knew why it started. The result is that I am surprised when I get a compliment.
The first was from someone who told me that she wanted to spend time with me outside of work. I never thought that spending time with me would be something people would find fun. I really haven't.
The other was a friend who told me that I always made her laugh and that she wished we lived closer.
It means a lot to me that my friends would say that, and even more so because they don't know that it meant a lot to me. I hope to instill better self-esteem in my daughter, because it's not fun, thinking people forget you the second you walk out of the room.
