Unplugging

I think life was so much simpler before the iphone. I left it alone once I got home from work. Now, between Facebook, Twitter and Angry Birds it feels like the phone is an extension of me and that is not a good thing.

So, I have quit facebook.

I deactivated my account this morning. And I'm not going to lie, it was hard to do. I enjoy facebook because I don't get out too much. Facebook lets me keep up with my friends, old and new, my family and life from the comforts of my couch. Or my desk. Or bed.

But I need to get away from the phone that held my attention more than it should and focus more on my family. I have a wonderful husband and a great daughter and facebook took up too much of my time with them. I hate to admit that I was, in fact, addicted.

I may reactivate it again someday. I may not. Today is just the first step. We'll see where it goes from here.

Death

Today, my daughter (4) and I had a discussion about death.

I've never thought about what to say about it when the time came, so I just went with it. I didn't shy from it or deny her the truth. Death happens. It'll happen to every single one of us, hopefully at the end of a long and fulfilling life.

Today it was about my Grandma. She is 83 years old and has been without my grandpa for almost 9 years now. Her eyesight is failing and she's looking a bit old and frail. Carley asked me flat out "Is Grandma Sadie dying?"

I could have approached it any number of ways, but what I did was just acknowledge that yes, she's getting old and someday she will die, but that I hoped that we had a lot of years left with her.

I'm amazed at the thoughts that come out of her head at age 4. Especially since she's been 4 for only 12 days. She informed me that if Grandma Sadie dies, she won't come back.

"That's right, sweetie. If you die, you don't get to come back."

"Well, if Grandma Sadie dies, I'm going to be really really sad and cry a whole lot because I love her so much."

I think Valentine's Day is a perfect time to bring up death of loved ones. It should remind us to love those in our lives while we have time. The future is not guaranteed. It's so easy to get caught up in life that you don't tell those you love that you love them. So take a moment and tell someone you love them. Because you never know when that will be the last time you get to do so.

Clutter

Lately my mind has been full of clutter. Too many things to do, to remember, to think about and it has caused me a lot of stress. Sadly I've also had some conflicts this week with people that I genuinely like, which has made the clutter much worse.

I try to be a good friend and try to do the right thing but I am finding it hard this week. There's just something about ME that pisses people off and sadly I don't know what it is (and it has to be me because I've had 3 conflicts this week, and the common denomenator is...ME!).

I am trying to be compassionate and patient and understanding but I am having a hard time this week. I just have too much on my plate and it has spilled over into my friendships with others. The last thing I want is for people to think I'm an asshole, but I think it's too late for that.

It has left me quite sad and confused. I'm hoping that a weekend at home, without the internet, email or phone that I can clear the clutter and start fresh on Monday.

Happy Halloween!

Courtesy of my friend Chaundra Anderson

Facebook

I love to laugh. Most importantly, I love to laugh at myself. Life is hard enough without worrying about if I'm fat or ugly or if made a fool out of myself. Life is much easier if I can laugh at the things that are "wrong" with me. More importantly, I like making people laugh. And unfortunately, I am my best subject.

I have been told on a number of occassions that my Facebook feed is someone's favorite, that I make people laugh at least once a day. I hardly ever post serious stuff. No one gives a crap what I ate for breakfast or the cute Carley story that makes my day, unless that cute Carley story includes embarassing me.

So I post for humor and nothing more. Unfortunately, not everyone gets my humor and when I post a self-depricating comment, some people will try to "build me up" by posting something positive. While I appreciate the sentiment, after days and days and days of self-depricating humor, I wish that they would get that I'm just trying to be funny.

That's all. I just want to make people laugh. And I promise...it is OK to laugh at me (because no matter how old I get, I will never understand "We're not laughing AT YOU, we're laughing WITH YOU").....because I AM NOT LAUGHING.

Me and my boyfriend

I love the Vampire Diaries. And Damon. He loves me too, as you can tell in this photo we had taken together:

Be Kind

Never underestimate the power of a kind word. You never know what kind of lasting impression words have on people, the good and the bad. Wouldn't you feel good if someone told you years later that the kind things you said to them stuck with them? I know I would.

When I was in 7th grade, a boy in my class told me I had the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen. I rediscovered this friend on facebook in the last year or so and I told him that his compliment has stayed with me for the last 25 years or so. It may seem silly, but it's not a compliment I get much (really, compliments on my looks have always been few and far between), but it was also given to me during years of my life that were the hardest. Middle school sucked.

I've kept that compliment in the back of my mind and it is a reminder that you should be kind to people because you may never know how one kind thing can stay with someone for so long.